I have to consult him with every descsion made so he can ultimatley have the final say and decide, he gets very angry and dissapointed if i go and agree to any plans without consulting him.
When a disagreement arises I am to respectfully listen and take a backseat whether i agree with what he is saying or not and then calmly give my response when asked.
I am to make sure everything domestic is done to a high standard to show my love and respect for him.
I am to try and serve him and anticipate his needs, whether that be if he needs a drink, something sexual, kind words, what ever is needed.
I must respect him in public and not interrupt him, or behave inappropriately.
I must try to work on my self esteem, and generally 'my wellbeing' in the ways he chooses for me as I am his property and should respect and be proud of this.
The last few days...
The weekend has been spent with my Master and also my parents and has been really fun! Sat afternoon we drove to a beautiful country pub and then I made my chicken pie for everyone and we stayed the night after a little too much wine!
Sometimes its hard to be a slave around my family but I just try to remain attentive to Sir's needs and stay respectful at all times, sometimes this is a challenge if I bicker with them as the relationship can be volatile but touch wood everything is ok.
Friday night ended gloriously with Sir making me kneel face down on our bed and tying my wrists to my ankles so I couldn't move, then he fucked my arse ( excuse the language but on this occasion I really think it fits : ) Anal sex makes me feel taken, used, but ultimately owned and puts me in a great mindset. The following is a description I wrote a while ago of how I felt the morning after anal sex combined with heavy impact play that resulted in severe bruising.
"I feel different today, I guess I feel vulnerable but in another sense strong, is that what it is? I’m not sure.
I also feel a little scared.
Last night I think I realized how much I need you to hurt me,
My skin broke, hands around my neck, pain so intense my mind flipped to somewhere else, and then unable to move you fucked my ares like that was the last time we would be together.
I remember once upon a time thinking....that’s not making love... surely.
I have never smiled so much....
Where there is violence, there is intimacy.
For me.
Was the need formed out of love, or was it always there?
Esmeralda x
Yesterday was a quiet day, we watched films, I made us homemade pizza, Sir seemed happy and it was lovely. In the evening he asked me to sit in the chair in the living room in some underwear he had chosen. Although I felt embarrassed I was filled with excitement at what he would ask me to do, I love the anticipation of waiting to see what he will ask. I also love to feel he is asking me to do something that he really wants, I could see him grow hard. I had to show him my body and crawl towards him and give him head, This then ended with making love in the bedroom, and I am very lucky that Sir has the best oral skills imaginable : )
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